Social skills question for you

8 Comments

1. Deactivated User 6 years ago
   Good question! I think it's something in the between. I have to behave to others like I am wishing that others will behave to me. I think the good behave towards the others is fine approach, but it's not enough for the business itself . The golden rule is that a person also needs to have a certain professional authority and to have a certain position, either formal or informal. It seems the authority only is not enough also. When I have received or gained the authority and I am managing people as idiot, sooner or later I will lost my authority.
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2. 

   Peter Jászberényi 6 years ago
   In my view, this golder rule (or saying in general) is slightly incorrect. It assumes, that all people are the same, which is not true. The same treatment can be perceived differently by different people. E.g. an extrovert person will enjoy being invited to podium and praised in front of many people, while for an introvert person this can be really unpleasant experience. I would re-formulate the saying this way (although longer and not that fancy): 1. know the people you are working with (e.g. what they like or dislike, what motivates them) 2. treat people according to their personality and your goals (e.g. what are you expecting from them). The choice "empathy vs. power" can depend on the situation and also on manager's personality and management style. I personally always strive to treat people respectfully (which doesn't mean being submissive). Even the use of power is accepted better this way.
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      Rudolf Christopher Takac 6 years ago
      I thank you so much for saying that "the same treatment can be perceived differently by different people". I agree with you.
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3. 

   Viktor Murga, PMP 6 years ago
   Hello there, Have you heard about a Platinum rule? The one which you can be successful the most with. It says: You should behave to others in the way they want you to behave to them. What do you think about that? Thank you. BR Viktor
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      Rudolf Christopher Takac 6 years ago
      Thank you Viktor for your comment, I completely agree with you. The platinum rule should be used in daily practice, even more than the golden rule as it fulfils real needs. First of all, leaders have to be aware of various behaviours/personalities of team members. Only after then, based on this knowledge should leaders act accordingly.
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4. Gary Spencer Heard 6 years ago
   Hi Ladislav. This is a very difficult question as it lies between the boundaries of personal morality and business success. One may feel a personal moral obligation to do unto others while the companies business objectives may contradict personal values. What I prefer to do is find what I think is middle ground. I try to eliminate the customer supplier relationships and turn them into partnerships. These partnerships create shared problems and shared responsibilities while complete transparency becomes the new form of the relationship. One pitfall to this is the contract. Above all, the contract must be followed and in cases where the contract is ambiguous, as it often is, mutual agreements on the contract intent should always be pursued. Good luck.
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      Peter Jászberényi 6 years ago
      ...definitely. If someone doesn't meet his/her obligations (contractual or job-related in general) then he/she cannot really expect a pleasant response.
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5. 

   Ladislav Pándy 6 years ago
   Ethical principles may or may not be part of a specific code of conduct, the real question being the level of emotional involvement and sensitivity to my partner. A person with a calculating and profit-driven character (aggressive narrow minded approach, which is not necessarily bad) would find himself treating partners (or rather team members) with a condescending attitude, on the other hand a person with a nice heart and gentle manners (submissive or undemanding) will not risk a conflict just to keep people feeling happy to do their job, to achieve a certain level of transparency also of how much do I see the partner fit to know all the details, also requires a kind of caring and respectful attitude, in a sense an inner voice and pictures that the person creates toward the other person. A kind of a self-talk during a conversation and inner imagery sent out subconsciously to the partner where I see him/her either as equal or less. In vertical relationships a boss that can come down to the level of a team member to motivate or encourage the member to overcome their misunderstandings and personal limitations or negativity not by responding to them, but by taking a proactive and positive approach creates the energy to move forward with ease, while the lack of the ability to feel into the situation, assuming the worst about the other and disregarding the circumstances of the team member carries the potential create more misunderstandings and difficulties. A completely new paradigm is a parental heart. That has the agility to adopt hard measures when the going gets tough or results reflect the lack of seriousness of the partner or team member, as well as the ability to be open and inclusive not only during celebrations with drinks but also coaching team members and opening up to a more involving and partner like relationship when deserved. Some people are extreme in their approach in achieving their self-interest, a complete opposite of the parental approach, they consider any ethical and heart-driven approach misguided and they rather join in cremation of care ceremonies, believing that their actions have no effect, certainly not a bad one on them. Such people would see no problem in destroying any obstacles standing in their way, sociopaths and psychopaths are unfortunately most common in high positions of power, making up 15-20% of the general population. https://www.quora.com/What-percentage-of-the-population-is-psychopaths-narcissists-and-sociopaths
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